TNA Against All Odds

TNA might be the single worst promotion to ever have a TV deal, but every now and then I check out a PPV, moreso for the "point and laugh" hilarity than optimism, but this is a show that has Jarrett vs Angle (a match I enjoyed in 2009) and the PPV return of STEINER, so I atleast had some hopes going in.

Kazarian vs Robbie E

Robbie is like the worst possible Zack Ryder knock-off; a Jersey Shore gimmick is a idea that lives or dies on how believable it is, and Robbie is pretty bad charicature. The character change in Kaz going from heel to fan favourite is not sublte in the slightest and is jarring even to someone barely watches the product. The match was a fine opening act, but nothing more.

Backstage STEINER is DRINKING BEER. Rob Terry has NO COORDINATION. Beer Money also talk and it is good.

SCOTT STEINER/Beer Money vs Rob Terry/Gunner/Murphy

Man thats a lot of steroids in one ring. How often is it Steiner is not the most roided guy in a match? The heel team looks like they weigh more than an entire Chikara YLC first round, but are just as green. I've never been a Roode fan, but he looked like a star in this match. Great off the hot tag, and him and Storm were great at getting at working the crowd. Also I lost my shit for the FRANKENSTEINER.

Samoa Joe vs The Pope

Wow watching modern day Joe is fucking depressing. Pope stalls for like 5 minutes before getting blocked by a HG impersonator who looks like he could have been one of the ninjas who kidnapped Joe (which would not suprise me). Joe's offence is more Edge than Tenryu, Pope is totally unineresting in every way. The finish was an interesting way of having a face win in totally unsatisfying manner. This was not good.

Madison Rayne vs Mickie James (Last Knockout Standing)

Several months on and Mickie James's music is still as hilarious as ever. This was supposed to be taken seriously as a feud ender and both chicks turn up in fucking fancy dress. This was standard divas wrestling, i.e. pretty shitty, but I did get a kick out of Madison fluffing the finish and forgetting the rules.

Hey, Hernandez is back! He's working an angry minority schtick... by appealing to the latino demographic in the crowd. Facepalm.

Matt Hardy vs Rob Van Dam

This was also on the dull side of town. Hardy has lost some weight and still executes his stuff well but fuck is he a shell of his former self. He may have lost weight but he still moves around like a slug, missed moonsault bump or not. RVD sucks so fucking bad too. Just because your spots were cool or "innovative" in 1997 doesn't mean you can still run through them in every match 14 years later. No one gives a fuck about seeing a spinning legdrop or Rolling Thunder in 2011.

Bully Ray vs Brother Devon (Street Fight)

For two out of shape old guys, this was a surprisngly fun brawl for what it was. All the stuff with Devon's sons was perfectly fine, and they added a lot more than the countless celebs TNA have used over the years. Major props to Devon, who was totally convincing in his role, and the post-match was EVIL and makes YOU want to see Devon get his hands on Ray. Of all the talent to book in a compelling way, it's Team 3D. Oh but the finish of the match still made no sense so there is that.

Kurt Angle vs Jeff Jarrett

For a match built with such a personal angle both men sure looked like they didn't give a shit during this. 15 minutes in and nothing notable happens I am wondering where is the HATE? Ray vs Devon looked like a fight with both guys beating each other up, this was wrestled like any other wrestling match with no emotion. Final thrid was typical Angle stuff with random ankle lock counters and predictable heatless finisher kickouts. Some bullshit with Karen and the ref including a ref bump that happened purely for the sake of filling time and this was just a massive sack of fail. Comparing two matches with similar premises, this wasn't half as good as Ray vs Devon.

Mr. Anderson vs Jeff Hardy (Ladder Match)

Holy fuck is Anderson awful at cutting promos. It is pretty grim when the top babyface comes off as more of an unsufferable douchebag than his heel challenger, especially when that challenger is Jeff Hardy. This was an example of ladder matches at their worst, a dull spotfest where they move from spot to spot and the spots aren't worth watching. Hardy obviously doesn't care anymore and just turns up for the paycheck, and the botched finish was really bad and noticeable. They botched the finish to the PPV main event.

TNA still sucks.