Friday 22 July 2011

Money In The Motherfuckin' Bank

Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus vs Wade Barrett vs Kane vs Sin Cara vs Cody Rhodes vs Justin Gabriel vs Heath Slater (Ladder Match)

This was a really fun match and actually shockingly good when you consider the talent involved. The dive train early on was pretty fun, Slater and Gabriel need to do highspots more often, though I thought the spot with them teasing an alliance and then turning on Barret was predictable and underwhelming. They should have knocked him off and made him take a spill instead of just letting him climb then pulling him back down. Sheamus was the fucking man in this, just destroying everyone. Cara sucks but props to the guy, that was a fucking nasty fucking bump he took getting powerbombed through the ladder. This got plenty of time for guys to shine without every dragging and was overall a really fun match with an awesome outcome. I also marked for Kane's Doomsday Device.

Mark Henry vs The Big Show

For such a short match, this was really awesome. Both guys are REALLY good big men, but both are better suited to short matches, and this was as good of match as this could have been in the time it went. Both guys were intense and pissed off, and the clobbered the hell out of each at the start. Dug the teases of the announce table spot, and both guys took some knarly bumps for their size. On top of all this, it was REALLY smartly worked with Henry going after the knee injury, and the finish and aftermath was all really great as far as making Henry look like a killer.

Alberto Del Rio vs Rey Mysterio vs The Miz vs Alex Riley vs Evan Bourne vs Jack Swagger vs Kofi Kingston vs R-Truth (Ladder)

This wasn't as good as the SD match, but still a lot of fun. There were plenty of botches, but outside of Truth's fuck-up, the botches and sloppiness actually added to the match and made it feel chaotic and unpredictable. Bourne's SSP was sweet, and the pop for Miz's return was cool. Riley trying to use the small ladder to reach the case was really amusing, when the Miz feud is done they should go back to his NXT roots and make it so that his gimmick is that he sucks. Del Rio also took a whole tonne of crazy bumps and the finish was RUDO.

Randy Orton vs Christian

This was easily the weakest of their matches, but still solid. Christian really isn't as good at working heel as he is at babyface, and Orton seemed off a lot too. Most of the RKO teases and counters were really bad and forced. There was also one really shitty punch exchange (which rightfully got zero response from the crowd). Still, there was some good stuff, mostly just some of the offence both guys broke out like Christian's diving headbutt and Orton's over-the-shoulder neckbreaker. The finish was a little anticlimactic, but worked well and the post-match with Orton going nuts on Christian was the best part of the whole deal. Once again I went in expecting an epic blow-off, but instead got another chapter in the feud, hopefully the finale delivers.

John Cena vs CM Punk

This match. What a match. Earlier in the year these two had a great match on RAW and I hoped for an epic PPV showdown between them - my prayers were answered. This was the best match I have seen in years and one of the best matches in WWE history. This was up there on the higher echelon of all time classics, and both guys, and the crowd, were outstanding. Obviously the crowd were amazing for this, before the bell even rang, the arena was booming with chants for Punk, and everytime the camera panned to the fans in the later parts of the match you could see every single fan in attendence was emotionally invested in the match unlike almost any other in recent history. Plenty of nasty moments such as Punk's knee to Cena's jaw, and the suplex to the floor out of nowhere. The match had a really effective slow-build, though maybe they made it too clear they were going long as they did lose the crowd at some point early on before getting them back, but even the early parts of the match had a clear story, with Cena replying to the "You can't wrestle" speil by matching Punk hold for hold. Punk talking during holds was also amusing, reminded me of 2004 Punk.

Some really smart spots thrown in, like Cena begining his rote day-to-day comeback routine only for Punk to telegraph it for a roll-up nearfall, and Cena busted out some unexpeced stuff like that powerslam and the abdominal stretch. But despite all the great action, this was a match made great by the story being told and the way both guy's played their roles and their characters. Story-telling is just about my favourite thing about the crazy that is pro wrestling, and this tied in with Punk's promo from RAW to perfection. Cena was no longer the underdog overcoming great odds, he was the unstoppable obstacle for others to overcome, and Punk was the one who was the underdog overcoming the WWE machine of Cena AND Vince. Cena WAS the Yankees, and dominated Punk for most of the second half, with Punk desperately trying to hang on. Cena was so good in this, completely stoic and "strictly business" throughout, but later on cracking a "trying not to lose my cool" smile and arguing with the ref (but not a whiny heel way) to show his frustration and the cracks in his armour. Punk was the polar opposite, full of personality and laying it all out there in the ring. There were a couple sloppy spots, but they didn't break the flow of the match or expose the business, so they were insignificant, and there was also some complicated stuff hit well. The whole sequence starting with Cena catching Punk in the crossbody leading to the AA nearfall was amazing and something I re-watched several times. Every counter in this match looked natural and organic, and the nearfalls were huge (no one has ever kicked out of 2 AA's before, so that was huge).

The finish could have been terrible and soured the whole match, but instead it was pretty much perfect, and off the top of my head I can't remember the WWE ever nailing a non-clean finish as well as they did here. Cena clocking Ace was THE definitive John Cena moment. He would rather lose doing the right thing, than win doing the wrong thing. WWE usually fucks up these angles, so it was a real shock to see them pull the trigger here and gives the fans what they really wanted, and the place exploded for Punk's win. The aftermath with Vince, Del Rio and Punk leaving through the crowd was just the icing on the cake.

And it was a good fucking cake.

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